Call it more than a hunch--We here at the Jesus Juice have just confirmed from the Devil that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad- dictatorial President of Iran and recently deceased(?) Pop King Michael Jackson have made a three way pact with Lucifer himself.
Ahmadinejad, faced with mounting international pressure and national upheaval in Iran due to outwardly obvious rigged election results, agreed to let the pop star steal his thunder. In exchange, the "untimely" death of the pop-star would result in massive Internet crashes and deflected media criticisms.
MJ, who was sick and tired of chronic years of bad publicity and being broke as joker, agreed to the ploy in order to reinvigorate himself in the glory of his massive international fan base and to bolster his financial stability by dominating record sales--the likes of which he hasn't experienced since the original release of Thriller.
To date, the conspiracy has experienced tremendous results. The Internet crashed for hours with the news of Jackson's death, disabling Iranian protesters from communicating via Facebook and Twitter. This bought Ahmadinejad the time he needed to swiftly and fiercely arrest his opposition's key leaders and to silence the uprising, while the western world turned a blind eye in order to grieve the loss of their iconic pop star.
Jackson's career, meanwhile, is a postmortem boom town: currently dominating the top 10 selling products on Amazon.com, a soldout Memorial at the Staples Center in LA, and the tears of bereaved fans around the globe.
We here at the The Jesus Juice have consorted with the devil on many occasions and have maintained a close relationship with him to date; enabling us to get the scoop. When asked what was in it for him, the devil offered no comment, but he then went on to say, "You've been struck by a Smooth Criminal!"
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